#idk at least im alive
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b4 death B) - angel w a little hat below cut <3
tried to stick to their death dates a bit but. idk i only googled for like 5 mins. also i wanted those old news print colours 😌
#alastor#niffty#angel dust#hazbin hotel#fanart#i wanted to like. idk not necessarily match their designs but what i think they'd have looked like when alive#a lot of people give angel heterochromia which i dig but i like the idea he's got the same thing as david bowie - 2 different sized pupils#i wanted 2 make niffty deranged but also sweet bc i love her dearly but i do think she killed people#alastor i tried to like give him a cab calloway vibe like charming but then also his scary little smile#Had to give Al the little glasses chain for extra cuntitude#angel i think was strange to make bc. he's the least human out of these 3 to me. so he could've looked like anything.#you can pry him being a bleach blonde out of my cold dead hands tho this man has dark hair naturally#needed him to look Fruity. but only a little. the amount of times i'd give him makeup then had to force myself to remove it#i love talking abt visual headcanons im so shit at writing to so you'll have to put up w drawings just so i can ramble abt them in the note#human niffty#human alastor#human angel dust#.ctf
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saw a drachenstein gambeson on google images and blacked out
#hiiiii im still alive#twc#the wayhaven chronicles#adam du mortain#my art#logistically it makes no sense to wear this without a tunic or chestplate but this is madeupland and i make all the rules so#also i think adam/ava should use a spear at least once. maybe on horseback. idk
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i keep thinking about this coz it's such a common trope in media but i can't even guess how common it is in real life so
#i hope i covered every answer???? idk this is such a fascinating topic to me#coz personally i know i could never die for anyone no matter how much they meant to me#maybe my family never being religious has smtg to do with that idk but like. the#whole ''i might be gone but at least they'll be alive'' never comforted me#like im dead. i wouldn't know#also my will to live is far too strong i think but idk it's just such a cool question to me#barking#my polls#mypolls#polls#forgot my darn tag
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***Spoilers for Seraph of the End manga chapter 131***
I just wanna talk about Mika and Yuu's changes in demeanor in this chapter. This page, in particular, was actually really sad to me.
Mika, while going along with Yuu's plans and ideas, was never really enthusiastic or optimistic about their chances of turning him back into a human. He was never super invested in saving his own life, but now that it's Yuu's life, he's suddenly super motivated. It's sad to me because it really emphasizes Mika's disregard for his own life. He didn't care as much about saving himself, but it's clear that he's about to pour all of himself and then some into keeping Yuu safe. It makes a depressing kind of sense. He's always been like this. Even as a kid, he gave up his body and blood to a vampire in order to provide for his family. He gave his life to distract Ferid to ensure that at least Yuu made it out alive. He then spent the next four years starving himself in order to keep as much of his humanity as possible and searching for Yuu. Once he found him, it was his single-minded mission to take Yuu away from the people who might be hurting him and to keep him safe. Mika has always held other people's lives, especially Yuu's, far above his own, and this chapter made this even more apparent.
Honestly, Yuu is the same way. He is 100% willing to sacrifice himself for the people he loves. Mika knows this, which is why he wanted Yuu to promise not to do exactly that. But notice, Yuu managed to avoid actually making the promise. Mika kept asking, but Yuu kept changing the subject.
I hope that doesn't come back to bite us later...
As for Yuu's change in demeanor, it is also very telling. While Mika seems upbeat and motivated now that he can focus on keeping Yuu safe, Yuu seems more subdued and much less enthusiastic about it. Yuu was putting all of himself into trying to save Mika, but now that he's the one who needs to stay safe, he doesn't seem as driven. Yuu and Mika have literally swapped places. They are both ready to give their all to protect each other while at the same time being reluctant to give anywhere near that same amount of energy when it comes to helping themselves.
#it's all very tragic#yuu better make it out alive istg#both of them better make it out alive#also im pretty sure the art style has changed a bit?#i noticed it a bit in the last chapter but it's much more obvious in this one (at least to me)#idk i dont hate it but tbh i liked it better before#im not a fan of this new art style#seraph of the end#owari no seraph#mikayuu#mikaela hyakuya#mika hyakuya#yuu hyakuya#yuichiro hyakuya#yuuichirou hyakuya#ons spoilers#ons chapter 131#ons manga#owari no seraph manga#seraph of the gay
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something kinda foul about being an adult that nobody warned me about is how often i’d do something that i really really don’t want to do, i am not talking about like the laundry but sometimes at work i take on a task that is like completely unnecessary and doesn’t benefit anyone or anything and is just clearly something to pad numbers or make a leader look good and i just. Do it. because i have to, because i need to keep the job, because i can’t get fired, etc and it not only is a useless waste of everyone’s time but i personally feel rotten because i have so much less control over very small details of my life as an adult than i ever thought i would. like if i cant say no to this small task then who am i. what am i doing. don’t work in corporate
#also worst of all is when the tasks add up and you realize you have done nothing actually useful for years and years#i mean at least im getting paid but it would be nice to be idk actually performing a service? actually helping somehow? not wasting my one#wild and beautiful life on earth doing things that no one really needs or cares about?#and then you get laid off by algorithm and all the energy you put into anything for all these years and years just? disappears forever???#don’t work a corporate job!!!!!#it will kill your soul!!!!!!#im trying to leave but the market is so bad rn what if im stuck here forever#time to reblog 1000000 posts about thanatos to help me cope with the horror of being alive
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Xtianity putting so much weight in self sacrifice means you can't complain when putting your all into the church god causes you harm, because "Jesus gave the ultimate sacrifice and we're called to sacrifice things joyfully and graciously and complaining and being ungrateful is a sin"
#i still get upset that people would rather me dead and xtian#than alive and non xtian#it's. wild#what people believe. what xtianity makes people believe#ex christian#religious trauma#the thing is too like... for me at least this was more of a culture thing than a said out loud thing#and that kinda stuff is insidious bc people will deny that it's real bc it's so ingrained in the culture#that they can't actually see it or it's so normalized that they can't see anything wrong with it#idk im angry about xtianity tonight what's new
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2 days since i finished once upon a witchlight. 2 days since i last saw kremy. Kremy withdrawal is starting, and it hurts. Like a kremy hangover (which no is not connected with my actual hangover). Kremy means so much to me. In fact kremy means SO much to me i have a deep desire to get like a badge or a diploma for being a part of kremy nation. I would like to be perceived above all else- as a kremy girlie. WITNESS ME AS I TALK ABOUT KREMY LECROUX. contact me if you want to talk about kremy lecroux, i need to verify the info. When i die and my brain gets cut in half, all the wrinkles are shaped like kremy. And if one sunny day, running late somewhere, with a single slice of toast in my mouth, i bump into richie god damn gilder i will with no hesitation fall on the ground and thank him for creating kremy. And he will think wow shes so cool and normal, from his backpack he will produce a purple book. I gasp. Oh my god what is that. He says szare you are so cool you should have this its a book that contains every single fact about kremy ive been writing it for years. I will say thank you how can i ever show my gratitude. And he will say dw abt it bestie.
Every wednesday kremy nation shall gather as i will read a page from the kremy book.
#richie if youre reading this#thats your cue to start writing#yeah yeah im normal or whatever#just#kurwa mać no#staram sie pisac a bestis gadaja obok moj mozg nie daje rady#okay focus focusssss my head hurts so much from the hangover yes the actual hangover#kremy nation#justtttt i dont know i have this weird desire in me to be recognized as a kremy girl i dont know what this says about me#id say im a massive fucking loser but i just got a job i have friends and good grades thats not very loser like#i guess the loser within never leaves#pardon my long posts and long tags im with friends and i cant be vocal about kremy#kind of writing all this to self regulate birthday party was great but overwhelming#anyway i fucking love kremy its a love that doesnt happen often#happened once before with dennis reynolds i think i have a type#kremy my best friend from another universe all i have is a gator plushie#idk whats wrong with me#richie is a very smart man i cant even imagine how the process of making such a character and living him works#and how amazing it is to witness how wonderful it is to see richie live kremy god dammit hes so fucking smart and amazing#gods!!!!#what a time to be alive at the same time as richard gilder to witness his craft#i will shut the fuck up now#at least for this post#*i cover my face with a cape like a vampire and jump out of the window*#once upon a witchlight#kremy lecroux
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#alex rider#alex rider tv#alex rider season 3#personally i would rank them fav to least fav 3 then 2 then 1#point blanc is one of my least favourite alex rider stories sorry#it was still good don't get me wrong just not my fav#season 3 takes the cake because the actors acted their asses off. and the flashback scene. otto farrant killed it. omg#idk its a really close tie between season 2 and season 3. i really enjoyed them both#yassen gregorovich#also because eagle strike and scorpia are my favourite books#i think if yassen wasn't alive in season 3 then season 2 would be my favourite tbh. maybe thats bold to say idk!!! im indecisive
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ok but. listen.
(for context this comes up when argent injures a romanced!steel step post villain reveal)
i cant stop thinking about this line. it mustve fucked with argent at least a little bit right?? especially with the line "i need you to have control". like. dude. control is arguably the most important thing to her. weve seen how meticulous she is with it even in the most mundane situations
weve seen what happens when she does lose control of herself
and we know that keeping up with everything is already tiring for her
argent is, out of every other character in the game, the one who needs to be kept under control the most, and the one most aware of that fact too. even if she acts volatile, shes constantly expending her focus to keep everybody around her safe. steel does Not need to add on to the stress of what she already knows. and the line after that, "this wasn't an accident. You went in there with the intent of hurting [them]" doesnt make the situation any better.
argents made mistakes. she absolutely has regrets. again, she doesn't need the reminder. actually, "this wasnt an accident" is worse than saying that, because if some of the thing she implies doing were mistakes, then what could she do when shes being deliberate? and "going in there with the intent of hurting [them]",,, Oof. hows the control of the nanovores worst impulses going for you angie?
i just. i think this line was somebody echoing her worst fears back at her. telling her in the bluntest, most brutal terms that everything shes doing isnt enough. that she needs to put in more effort to be considered safe for others to be with. and that must hit hard for sombody so lonely who already tries so hard every day, yk?
#in conclusion: im shaking her like a rag doll#ive been thinking about this for so long send help#argent is the most dangerous character in the game but shes also trying her goddamn hardest to keep people safe#even when she cant find it in herself to act like a hero she can at least try to be good#those nanovores are fucking her Up but theyre also a part of her and she wouldnt be alive without them and maybe thats-#a reflection of the way she views her own regrets. idk. i think argent is funky and fresh and also a tragedy in the making <3#argent#fhr#pulp speaks
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i can almost guarantee ive said it before but. he would thrive in a zero escape game
#an octopath ze au would be kinda fun actually.. especially the octo2 party#would love to see these guys in an escape room . it would be so awful#temenos would fit in perfectly and might even make a good mc given his 'truth lies in the flame' segments..#i could see partitio doing well bc of his creativity and general demeanor#osvald is great at math but idk how trusting hed be of everyone in this situation.. especially if they assume zero is one of them early on#throné . girlie im so sorry#i think shed do fine for the most part (hard to say how much her thieving skills would be of help here) but she did not deserve this </3#do not let ochette into any pantry or food storage room. i dont trust any of that food#i wonder if shed have her partner(s) here tho.. how do u handle an owl and/or jackal in this situation..#she would be great for morale tho#same for agnea tho i worry for her emotional state a lil bit . help her#who am i missing .. CASTTI#shes good at managing stress (both hers and others) in awful situations . thank god#and shes there if anyone gets hurt 👍#not that its likely outside of bad end situations ? tho i may be thinking of the 999 map too much..#would it be more fun to use that as the setting or something else altogether.. more modern or more like octopath 2..#how the fuck would someone even make an escape room in . what is it like the industrial revolution. steam era#would it make sense to be able to use magic in universe to pull off something similar..#the canonicity of some ingame mechanics is dubious so its hard to tell how malleable magics uses and effects are..#itd probably be easier to place everyone in a modern setting but i have no idea what some of them would be that way#.. modern fantasy setting ??????#what if they had smartphones in octopath. would that be fucked up or what#also who the hell would be zero . would anyone be in kahoots w zero.. or at least Know Things but be unable to say smth abt it#i straight up forgot to mention hikari earlier but hes prolly like. fine#his intrusive thpughts would probably Suck Bad here but hed want everyone to get out alive as much as everyone else combined#wait who would even be the 9th person. would it be zero. but who..#if it were octo1 id say kit but its harder to get a good octo2 equivalent of him.. hm..#oh god im out of tags . tho what would the game style be like.. nonary game ab game etc etc.. what would be unique but fitting..#am i gonna look into actual scientific theories for this . and how would the morphogenetic field come into play.. and Why..#octotag
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IM LIKE IF A BOY WAS A MANIC PIXIE DREAM GIRL WAS A SCENE FAG
#SCENE ART#FUNKY COOL ART#T SLUR TW#F SLUR TW#CONTEXT: MY MOM CALLED ME A TRANNY AND A FAGGOT DURING AN ARGUEMENT WITH ME AND HER AND MY DAD#IT DOESNT REALLY BOTHER ME ANYMORE THEYRE DUMB AND CONFUSED AND THEY ONLY LISTEN TO FOX NEWS ABOUT ANYTHING EVER#AND THEY THINK MY BABY FOOD MADE ME AUTISTIC#SO THEIR OPINION ON MY IDENTITY IS STUPID AND WRONG#ANYWAYS I WAS KINDA PISSY ABOUT IT SO I MADE SOMETHING KINDA EZ TO FEEL BETTER AND GET BACK INTO THE SWING OF DOING DIGITAL ART#CUZ IM STILL GETTING USED 2 MY NEW TABLET!!!!!!!!! SIMILAR MODEL SO ITS NO BIGGIE BUT STILL#ANYWAYS IF U COULDNT TELL IM IN A BIG CAPSLOCK MOOD TODAY 4 WHATEVR REASON LAWLZ#ANYWAYS ANYWAYS YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! POSITIVE VENT THING IF U WANNA CALL IT THAT#IM NOT SAD ANYMORE CUZ I HAVE FRIENDS AND THEY THINK IM COOL!!!!!!!! AND I THINK IM COOL TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!#I FINALLY LOVE MYSELF AND ITS SO POGGERS IT WAS SO WORTH IT#AS IN EVERYTHING WAS!!!!!!#AND THIS IS VERY VAGUE BUT THATS FINE CUZ I DONT REALLY WANT ANYONE ON HERE 2 UNDERSTAND LOLZ. OR AT LEAST ALL THE RANDOS FOLLOWING ME#ILY ALL IDK WHO U R THO XD AND U DONT HAVE 2 KNOW MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE STORY#BUT I DO WANT IT TO BE KNOWN SOMEWHERE THAT IM VERY HAPPY AND EXCITED TO BE ALIVE DESPITE EVERYTHING THATS HAPPENED#AS IN EVERYTHING YOU ALL DONT NEED TO KNOW ABOUT#AND I FINALLY LOVE MYSELF AS MUCH AS I LOVE EVERYONE ELSE EVER EVEN MY DUMBFUCK PARENTS!!!!!!!!!#IM SO HAPPY IM ALIVE IM SO HAPPY UR ALIVE TOO :) EVEN IF I DONT KNOW WHO U R (IDK WHO IS AND ISNT READING THIS)#SO I HOPE UR ALL HAPPY WITH URSELVES 2 AND IF UR NOT I HOPE U CAN BE ONE DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#AND SPEAKING OF DAYS (AS IN 12AM FOR ME AS OF TYPING THIS) I HOPE U HAVE A GOOD 1 TODAY >:D <3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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i am really enjoying impact winter but yet I find myself wondering the same thing I wonder when consuming most vampire media: if the vampires can control how much they drink from someone, why don't they? It's hard to see the vampires we're supposed to see as good people as good people when they're murdering non-vampires left and right when they could. according to the story itself. just not do that
#impact winter#and i fucking hate rooks or whatever his name is#i get that new vampires can't control themselves or whatever but why do the older ones just not make the choice to kill people#my post#lowkey i kind of agree with jeb in trying to kill all vampires when most of them are literally slaughtering humans en masse#also how many vampires are there and how much do they need to feed??? because it seems like there would be no humans left for them to actua#ly feed on#and anyway back to rooks him acting like the bigger person (or vampire) because he doesnt keep humans alive to feed on is soooo annoying#because its like oh yeah you have the moral high ground mr i killed this person because i thought she would be powerful as a vampire#at least Penelope actually practices what she preaches#also im only on ep 10 so sorry if this gets adressed later idk
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Not gonna main tag this because the proportion is all over the show, but I've not been able to draw for myself for a couple days and of course I draw one Doctor Prism immediately
#sigh. idk I'm feeling weird abt things again but that's not for y'all to worry abt#ohhh doctor prism save me doctor prism.....doctor prism save me..............sobbinngf..#[agent moose's art]#her and her robots...they do so much to me....she loves them so dearly and it tears me to shreds...#she just. she didn't deserve it. she got betrayed twice over and like. she knowingly walked into the 2nd or at least a bit#she knows Zor wouldn't use her research for good and yeah she didn't know the gravity of that nor the personal betrayal#but she didn't need to be manipulated into the position she ends up in idk IDK im so#curls up into a ball. openly weeps.#desparately clinging onto my ieytd hyperfix rn because it's the only thing keeping me grounded rn.l#<- exam season.#I'll be fine.... I'll live.............we muscle through...with my ieytd hyperfix keepibg me alive brah...#prospect of ieytd 4 is. a very vood motivator#j digress
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Thinking abt ice king sm rn
#like ik we call original ice king the fat ver of the simons we know now in f&c bc of the muumuu thing but like-#we know what he looks like under the muumuu#he's fucking emaciated most of the times we see under it#that aint me saying IK shouldn't be fat bc i love that idea#I'm saying its really fucked up how thin he is. did ice king eat?? did he even need to eat at all?#like he's literally a blue skeleton. was the crown just- keeping him alive to the point where he just didnt need to eat anymore#so he just started wasting away? that's..really fucked up in all honesty#i wish the revert 2 simon wasnt just *poof* bc that shoulda been a thing that was mentioned at least in passing#unless it was mentioned and i just missed it in my rewatching of AT#idk#im just thinking abt simon rn#i hope he turns out okay in f&c#elliot rambles#ice king#simon petrikov#fionna and cake#adventure time#disordered eating mention#just in case
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honestly kinda scary what the text keeps implying about the kg and what they would have done 💀
#ser gerold on the frontlines of its more ethical to let 500k ppl burn alive#so its ok#honestly im still trying to figure out like the wildfire is being placed#the kg r still in the city#i mean darry and barristan is back by chelsted’s execution#at least#bc we know darry guards the door right after w jaime#and chelsted gets executed bc he finds out bc as jaime notes he wasnt stupid#and protests#and the rhaella passage starts with the king hides no secrets from the kg#so its all so interesting like how much did they know lol#but j does say his sworn brothers were all away#at least when the actual plan was being conducted in secrecy#but idk about the actual order bc that was made earlier#anyway nobody was paying attention to this still and its so funny
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decided to make a list of all my diagnosed issues and like fucking. god damn. how am i just living day to day.
#nine bullet points#of diagnosed things i struggle#i struggle with#1. type one diabetes 2. adhd 3. bipolar 4. severe anxiety 5. depression 6. insomnia 7. migraines 8. dpdr 9. ptsd#and im just ?? existing like this??? literally how what the fuck#there’s more than that too thats just like the actual able to be diagnosed shit#probably also at least slightly autistic but my psychologist said that its not bad enough to impact me big time and a diagnosis would do mor#more harm than good so im just kind. Not lmao#but also: abandonment issues self worth issues guilty conscience issues feeling unworthy of literally everything issues#awful at establishing boundaries#sh issues#(not for like years but its a struggle to not relapse every year esp during winter)#suicidal ideation but at least ive never actually been suicidal#not bc i particularly love being alive but because the fact that i dont know what comes after death scares me too much lmao#even at my lowest of lows i have not wanted to kms SOLELY bc the unknown scares me enough to be like#yeah this sucks but at least i know it#at least it’s like familiar which is sad but still true lma#OH ALSO eating disorder lmao. diabulimia is a thing.#genuinely how have i not been fucking hospitalized#not in a bad way but like. idk how i havent gotten to that point yet#tho to be fair there are multiple points i probably should have been tbh#i just. dont want to worry people? or inconvenience anyone. and i know im not gonna kms so its easy to be like ‘i dont need that’#i have overshared way too much in these tags sorry i’ll stop now#if anyone has actually read all of these: i’m sorry. i love you. i hope you feel better than i do. i hope you smiled today.
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